At my heaviest, I was 240lbs, and I hated myself with a passion. I would avoid looking in the mirror because it was too depressing. My stomach hung down to my thighs, my arms resembled bat wings, and my face was just one big round blob! All I did was eat. If I wasn’t stuffing my face, I was thinking about my next meal. I could never have a proper relationship because I was too insecure to allow anyone into my life, and I had a lot of one-night stands so men could never see what I was really like. I figured if I was disgusted by myself, it only made sense that men were also disgusted by me.
Things changed for me when I fell out of the shower one morning while getting ready for work. I was too fat to stop myself from hitting the ground, and all I heard was the loudest, blood-curdling crack. I broke my ankle really badly and had to have surgery. During my recovery, I decided I had to take complete control of my life and do something about my weight. I knew that my broken ankle was a wake-up call for me. I wouldn’t have injured myself so badly if I hadn’t been so fat. Now I was concerned about my health and the future I might not have if I don’t get this weight off.
As couple of months into my recovery, I changed my eating habits. When I tried to lose weight previously, I would place these unrealistic expectations on myself and cut everything out of my diet. I could never stick to it and would give up shortly after starting. But this time, I decided to cut back on the foods I was eating instead of cutting the foods out completely. And that worked for me because I could still eat the foods I loved. I just wasn’t eating as much of it.
I then started going to the gym and doing light exercises. I then moved onto the treadmill and started walking. Once my ankle was fully healed, I started running, and I loved it. I felt so free when I ran, so I took up outdoor running, and I was amazed at my level of endurance. I now run five to seven miles five times per week.
My confidence levels are at an all-time high, and I’m so happy with myself. I love looking in the mirror now because I don’t feel shame anymore. I’m so proud of myself because of how far I’ve come. I’ve got a lot of excess skin around my stomach, but I see it as a badge of honor because it reminds me of how far I’ve come, the weight I don’t ever want to be again, and keeps me focused on my final weight loss goal.
I now have a boyfriend who loves me, and I feel confident letting him see the real me. He’s seen pictures of what I used to look like and is really proud of what I’ve achieved. I inspire and motivate him to achieve his goals.
I’m excited about the future, and I know that I’ll keep the weight off with consistency and discipline. I’m a brand new person, and love who I’ve become.
